Rant: The Da Vinci Code

After 18 months of saying I'd read it, I finally gave in...and finished it in less than a day. Having read its prequel, Angels and Demons, I knew how Brown would interpret history to create an intellectually captivating thriller. And as I've had a pulse over the past year or two, I knew how it, umm, has touched nerves of sensitive Catholics. A few thoughts on that: Yes, the book claims that the Church has long covered up the fact that Jesus married and had children with Mary Magdalene. Okay, so maybe it was suggested that Jesus was a pioneer in the feminist movement and the Church attempted to destroy evidence of this and created a patriarcial monarchy that has suppressed the spiritual beauty of the feminine form. And wasn't there something in there about how Christ's divinity was a product of a tight fourth century vote and the Bible was put together with a political agenda? After all, it ain't the losers who get to dictate how history will be remembered. And apparently, last March the folks over at Vatican City appointed a "top cardinal" to debunk these fanciful conspiracy theories by conducting a string of public debates that began in Genoa, Italy. And if I cared about it more, I could search for specifics about how the Church has in other contexts spoken out against the book and even banned it. Bad, Dan Brown, BAD! CHILL OUT, PEOPLE. If there actually are people stupid enough to make ultimate decisions about their faith based solely on a fictional best-seller, then who really thinks these people will take the time to heed some stern papal encyclical or attend a seminar put on by some Cardinal who may have actually been around at the time of Christ? Hell, these people probably can't even read anyway and had to get the book on tape from the library. But I digress. My points: (1) Books are works of fiction, not historical records. Suspending what you believe when you're reading can actually be fun sometimes! (2) Yes, Mr. Brown. Yes, Mr. Church. Yes, Mr. Censor. I know you all probably know this (especially you, Mr. Brown, but out of fairness I had to include you in this indictment), but people do have minds of their own. Some even use them from time to time. (3) Have these censorship people even read the book? I wouldn't at all be surprised if most hadn't. (4) The controversy around The Da Vinci Code swirls around the interpretations put forth by a series of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. Do we know what Dan Brown thinks about it all from reading the book? Absolutely not. Has anyone ever heard of creative writing? How dare Brown create characters which espouse some radical idea! (5) And speaking of radical ideas,why the hell freak out when one comes around? If nothing else, it spurs good conversation. In fact, if I were a betting man, I'd wager anything I own that at least 97% of the Christians who read or talked about the book learned something about why they hold their beliefs. With intercourse comes justification. (6) Isn't this an odd reaction from the Church over what amounts to only a pop-culture book (and an upcoming movie)? Should it even have to respond? This much attention is never paid to major agnostic intellectuals like David Hume, Bertrand Russell, or Friedrich Nietzsche, whose claims would be quite damaging to the Church if believed, but of course that's because only a small percentage of people will read their works - much less than will read The Da Vinci Code, anyway. Plus, what about all the other researchers who have published works - works with much stronger academic credentials, but much less notoriety - about the same idea? Why aren't we hearing about those and how horrible they are? It just seems a bit odd to me. It's not going to win any awards for its prose, but The Da Vinci Code is an entertaining and engaging book nonetheless. And maybe I'm going to hell, but you know what, I plan on enjoying the movie when I see it in May. Oh, where are you now, John Stuart Mill? The world needs a little bit of you.